HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
i blame lastnights decisions on friday the 13th
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
i just uploaded pictures of my nephew, and you & d puking in the same toilet. i think i should keep them in the same album. show my nephew what he has to look forward to.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I mean how do you tell a nurse in the ER that you dislocated your knee giving a blowjob to your boyfriend.
Very innocently.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
I'm in the recliner and i have a bottle of wine wedged in my cleavage, drinking from a straw. Clever and classy or pathetic and sloppy?
Randomize
