saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
Just threw up in airport security. Happy holidays.
I'm listening to bach and watching porn,is that a sign of depression?
Quite the contrary. Sophistication.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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