also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
I just woke up to my FedEx of contacts I've been waiting for for about a week and my hungover ass went to the bathroom and used beer instead of contact solution.
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
Also a shrinking boner emoji would be helpful
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize