I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
our night together was a product of my beer goggles and jennifer aniston-like desperation.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
There's so much relief when you realize you wake up in your own bed
its a nice change of pace not blacking out and actually remembering getting laid
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
I seriously just forgot to push down the toaster twice in a row \n\nSo I've been waiting 8 minutes for toaster strudels that I haven't even started... Too high
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
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