GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I just want my birth control to stop making me feel like I'm watching baby seals get clubbed to death any time anything even remotely unpleasant happens lol
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
I was blacked out when we met, so basically this will be a blind date.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Were we still high when we decided to break your leg?
Randomize
