Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
Just had the weirdest flashback. Did we buy melon, take it into the restaurant and try to make them give it to us as dessert?
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know what's soul crushing? Walking to subway and find out you were too drunk to put on shoes and being denied service.
Um. I literally have no words.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
He broke through his window then signed his name on the biggest peice of glass from it. I think they framed it and named it 'best party ever'
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