Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
You should know I just got pulled aside by TSA because they found a bottle of Bud Light in my backpack... Thanks for that...
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
So idk if it's because I'm working out again or the coke, but I hit my target weight today. Whaaaat uuuup. Come and get me thanksgiving.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
im the best fifth wheel. all four of them separately bribed me to never speak of what happened last night
Any idea why the fuck i would replace all the music on my ipod with the fucking Goosebumps theme song?!?
Apparently drunk you is really nostalgic?
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
do you think that identical twins have the same size junk? i just want to know your opinion before i find out.
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Randomize