I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Just finished my law exam. Questions 4-18 seemed to pertain specifically to things we've done this semester.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Seriously though, passing out on the police station floor must have been priceless!
I'm at a first year old's birthday party and a midget dressed as a cop just showed up. Word is we're going to toss and bowl with him. Updates to come.
You ever just SEE a guy and know he's good at choking someone out?
It's 3 am.
The cop busted in, made the music stop, and goes "GUYS LISTEN UP! DRINK, DO DRUGS, HAVE UNPROTECTED SEX, I DONT GIVE A FUCK, JUST QUIET DOWN!" Best. Cop. Ever.
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Randomize
