I'm currently imdbing Helena Bonham Carter to see if there are any pictures of her that don't scare the crap out of me.
Good luck with that.
Just passed an anti-circumcision dude with a sign. Handing-out-bibles guy has been officially one-upped.
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I need to stop sleeping with republicans and cowboys fans.
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
He seriously just asked the doctor if taking the medicine for chlamydia was going to cut into his drinking time. Never let it be said that he is not dedicated.
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
your vagina must have magic restorative powers I feel rested and powerful this morning.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
Randomize
