Someone shit on the floor
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
I stumbled into my living room at 4 a.m. to find him hurling my laptop across the room and his pants around his ankles. Clearly his night didn't go as planned.
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in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I cried and ate like 6 tacos in the taco bell parking lot at almost midnight, sober, alone, listening to a demi lavato cd. And that was the good part.
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
It was like a square peg in a round hole... I've never seen one shaped like a stick of butter...
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I just chugged whiskey at 7 AM because going to breakfasts at Brendas doesnt seem right if Im not real drunk. I feel like when Brenda takes my order she can tell Im drunk and will take care of me.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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