Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
Man, coughing on your period is like the biggest gamble a girl can make.
I did it again.
I drunk texted John McCain.
Randomize
