Can Purell be used as lube?
theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
O.A.R does not stand for Old Recycled Abortions.
guys don't fucking realize that the only place girl like their faces jizzed on is in PORN, and that "squirting" is piss. JUST FUCKING PISS.
Haha, bad night?
I just had to google "How do I get semen stains off of drywall." I'm relatively proud of this
I checked into jail on foursquare
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
Never visiting again. You guys drink like immortals
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I'm at a bar. It's body paint Wednesday. All of the waitresses are topless. Help me
That rando I gave head to on the beach just endorsed me on LinkedIn for Oral Communication Skills. So there's that.
Everywhere I look there's another kitten this is so ideal
Can I live on acid? Kittens man. Kittens.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
Randomize
