her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
dude, apparently i tried to force feed my grandma bananas last night.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
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