I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
I thought your voice was coming from the walls. I've never been so relieved to find you naked in a closet
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
sex in a hospital.. check
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
