Currently looking for a new liver on ebay. Struggle.
I don't think of it as I'm taking a pole dancing class...its more like I'm making myself recession proof
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Dude your not gonna get by security covered in blood wearing only a robe
Don't worry I'm drunk they won't say anything
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
I got laughed at by a homeless guy in a Daniel Boone hat. I have no clue what this means for my day
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
Are you okay?
I went home with a 38 year old guy in a kilt, do I look okay!
YOU LEFT MY FUCKING BRA OUTSIDE OF YOUR HOUSE AND NEVER TEXTED ME.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
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