Remind me that when I'm pregnant, I should NOT post vaginal dilation updates on my facebook. Ever.
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
It Amazes me that I was able to drunk update my status in Spanish last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
Pray for me. I just had a sex dream about Debbie Wasserman-Schultz.
You were dancing to the Bee Gees, at 3am, with a piece of ham on your head. Moral of the story, You can't drink.
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
You had blacked out Skype sex? Wow we live in the future
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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