Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
So I don't have any furniture but we just skateboard drunk around the floor.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Its like I was sleeping with a kid. His gum fell into my hair while sleeping and he just wanted to cuddle.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I told him I wanted to "ride him like a show pony" I think he gets the picture
Roommate just came in drunk and tweaked out because my tv has a DVD player built in. Waaaaaayyyy too sober for that conversation.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
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