I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
His text read: Sex? I replied: Not drunk enough. He bought 4 more rounds and tantalized me with the offer pizza later. This could be the beginning of a beautiful relationship.
Forgot that I saved my paper as "Eat Shit Edwards" and e-mailed it because I missed class. I'm sure Prof. Edwards will be delighted when she gets it. I don't anticipate a passing grade.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Her text was so long it had an arrow to expand it. You know it's bad when even your iPhone can't handle her
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
It's Scottsdale, it shouldn't be this hard to find drugs.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
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