K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
Someone left their drag queen on my couch. On the plus side, he sure does know how to make a mean cup of coffee.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Dude. I might have just seen some porn i wasnt ready to see. The chicks were so old.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
