So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
His 21st birthday is in the middle of shark week, it's meant to be.
You know being hammered seven days in a row can do serious damage to your liver.
Text me on Monday and make sure I'm still alive
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but they dont look like handprints. looks like someone had a boxing match with my tits and my tits lost
PS my house is a mess.
pps I have a rash on my face.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Fuck I forgot the furry convention was this weekend and now I'm downtown. Way too high for this shit.
What's the polite way to say "hey I don't actually want to fuck you, I just swiped right on you because you didn't like me in high school and I needed validation"
Randomize