you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
Why does She think it's her duty to welcome in freshman through the welcome mat that is her vagina
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
the dj asked me quote "are you sure you're sober enough to do this?" And I grabbed the mic from him and said "ill fucking show you sober- HIT IT". I also dropped the mic at the end so he had to come around and pick it up
Shania Twain would have been proud
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I'm in your room because it's a safe space. Is it ok to pee in here?
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
