He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
dude, i woke up naked in her front yard...apparently i tried to leave in the middle of the night, forgot my clothes and decided,"oh heres a nice patch of grass to sleep on" I think god is up there laughing at me.
so let's talk penis.
Have you ever made a sandwich from swedish fish and tortilla chips?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
Idk, you were a drunk pirate that kept stealing pieces of people's costumes to keep as your booty.
That would explain all the random shit in my room...
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
