i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Worst ten minutes of my life, it's was like trying to put a marshmallow in a piggy bank....
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
So I had a crappy evening so the fat girl in me says eat and cry and watch something sad. The cool girl in me says don't eat go run. So I'm watching family guy and doing crunches w a pickle in my mouth
Gross
AN ACTUAL PICKLE
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Your the only person to come back from spring break with a non std related infection
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
I love FaceTime, every time you ring me the morning after its like I went home with your one night stand too.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
