i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
oh ps. last night you kept telling me to calm down because everything was fine cause you were getting "arab money"...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
i watched you ride a mechanical penis. nothing is awkward between us anymore.
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
I hate about 85% of people that I meet. I'm an awful person. In reality my only redeeming qualities are my face, my amazing scissoring skills and the fact that children love me.
True on all accounts.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Remember when I asked you to make sure I didn't go home with anything less than a 6 last night? You're fired
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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