sorry probably not gonna make it :( kinda tied up right now
sad face, r u gay?... wait like really tied up?
:)
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
The bellhop gave us weed in our keycard envelop. We went down to tip him and he apparently never gets that so he just gave us more weed. Kentucky is strange
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
WHAT IS MY LIFE THAT THE ONLY PERSON INTERESTED IN FUCKING ME IS MY 6TH GRADE MATH TEACHER
See, this is why you don't do nice things for people. You'll get stuck in the snow and you won't catch a dick.
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
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