I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I can't believe he would be such an ass
Your boobs are way too big for you to be worrying about anything.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She spilled some tequila on her hair somehow and I guess I felt bad for her, so I yelled "ROOMIES FOR LIFE" and dipped my hair in my tequila.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
Randomize
