we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Debating going to the grocery store with my vibrator still in, cause I can't stand the idea of it out. Lets do some risk/reward
The police report said "I asked the suspect if he had any identification. He replied yes and gave me a Pizza Hut gift card"
Omg. Tonight might be the night I masturbate thinking of a smoothie!
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
woke up to my little sister's best-friend's boyfriend in my bed, but how's your saturday going?
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
No, he came home, unscrewed all of the lightbulbs, and threw them in the sink.
Randomize
