I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
I think even Ryan Seacrest is disgusted with the thought of Ryan Seacrest getting some.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My exam ends at 4pm so I plan to be passed out in the bar by 5pm. Want to join me?
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
All I need is to get out and get laid
Yeah mom sounds like a good idea! Now send that message to the person it was ment for
I told him we can’t see each other today because absence makes the heart grow fonder but mostly I just need to rest my vag
Randomize
