david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I only have two playlists on my iPod. One for when im getting drunk, one for when I'm getting high. Is this something to be worried about?
so just saw tiger woods pull a page out of his wifes book and hit some kid in the head with a golf club
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
I'm afraid to text her because most of the time she just replies with "cockblock."
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
i was congratulating myself on not falling down the stairs when i walked into the wall. it's like one step forward, two steps into the fucking wall
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
I woke up with my shoes still on and my pants around my ankles cause I couldn't get them over my shoes
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
You have to commit to sexting. You can't just quit right after I send you pictures of my asshole.
Seriously, come on.
I feel like there's a picture of my ass on the internet right now.
I hate you.
Randomize
