it was like she was tryin to eat my face and i was defending myself with my mouth
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
She started to tell me how she goes to a shrink, so I started thinking how to sneak out of her place, then she said part of it was for her sex addiction, long story short she's got her clit peirced n I just got laid
his pokemon pajamas? the fact that he was proud of the stretchmarks on his arms? or finding out he has a daughter that went to high school with us? ...you tell me what was the dealbreaker
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
you just kept saying 'take out my tanks' and tell the cab driver to go slower, i have no idea what you were talking about but i'm glad you had fun.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Never use fire and ice condoms with a dude who always claims he "didn't know it was the wrong hole"
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
Last night he ate BBQ Pringles out of my boobs...I feel like it was moderately productive
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Randomize
