i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
its family weekend so i'm givin my little bro a tour of everywhere ive thrown up on campus
I want a picture of impoverished children wearing Oregon national champions shirts.
Yes, I feel sorry for the tribe that gets those. They won't be able to hide from the lions.
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
A drunk and bleeding peter is knocking on your door... in nothing more than a sombrero, boxers and cowboy boots.
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
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