I wish a night of watching Dear John and a bottle of wine could cure my herpes.
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Well he's not exactly single.. It's like an open relationship his wife doesn't know about
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
some chick tossed a drink in your face at the bar last night. your mouth was opened so i think you ended up swallowing at least half of it. good job.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I literally just rubbed my stomach and told my liver to "hang in there baby"
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
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