how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
he asked me if i "normally slept like that" because i was curled up in a ball facing the wall. then he told me that i woke up in the middle of the night and said "oh my god. i forgot you were here." how did he not understand that i didn't want him in my bed.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
And we had three hours of crazy sex then his roommate ate pizza off me while I was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
You know you hit Mardi Grad bottom when you come to in someone's kitchen on the floor and you are eating gumbo out of a Mixing bowl with a ladle......yeah rock fucking bottom
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Did u puke in a church parking lot? And go to the wrong funeral yesterday? Lol
Randomize
