yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
There was this creepy guy on the bus. So I puffed out my stomach & began so hold my stomach like I was preggers.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
Goddamn right, I may not survive the apocalypse, but my eyebrows fucking will.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
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