Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
That's fun. I just masturbated and I swear my vagina creaked.
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Fuck man, my Dad's been single so long I get him a year's sub to a porn site every year for for Father's Day
Everyone is out there getting real jobs and I just realized I've been "washing" my clothes with fabric softener for two months.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
