Tonight has been like a good ass fucking high school movie
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
I don't judge her for getting booty calls at 2 in the morning, so she can't judge me for staying in friday nights and putting spray cheese on pringles.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
You sprinted into the side of a parked car
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I'm going to give you the best blowjob of your life. And yes you can use my mom's printer.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
