How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
Remind me tomorrow to take that ball-gag out of my purse.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
I like you as a friend, but I'm in love with your dick.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Waking up at a teachers house is a very confusing thing
oh my god I have a fantastic druncle story to tell you. It involves a burrito, a meltdown and a bear
The burrito and meltdown are standard, but I'm intrigued by the bear
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
i can trust myself, just not when im drunk. and drinking is my favorite pastime
I had 2 shots but she spilt one on me. Kinda mad but kinda grateful
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
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