i spent my evening searching "the sims having sex" on youtube
we're no longer friends
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
You remember that guy Joey? The pastors son that plays Jesus every year?
Yeah?
Stuck it in his pooper.
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
WHY IS SHE PANDERING YOU, A SIMPLE GOBLIN, TINY WEENER PICTURES OVER STATE LINES
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
Randomize
