Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
he came on my stomach and it was 1000 degrees in his car. i smelled awesome.
I never thought your mom would see me throwing up on my hands and knees in your front yard
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
And then he said "if you were planning on bird feeding me that's not ok"
Dad just asked me to breathalyze grandma
When I say "is it a bad idea to do Mollie before an 8hr shift tomorrow?" I dont want to hear the truth I want to hear you encouraging my bad decisions
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
My disapointment is making my balls hurt :(
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
Randomize
