its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
She made me add her as a friend on fb before she got into my bed... I sense a stalker
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
Apparently while trying to get up from vomiting in the toilet I grabbed the seat cover for leverage and smashed my own head between it and the bowl. I don't remember this.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
I threw up this morning to Silent Night playing in background. It was actually quite soothing.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
his mom called during sex and he made me talk to her I think we're getting serious
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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