Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
Just so you know, the bottle of red gatorade is NOT GATORADE. It is definitely someone's puke. I hope nobody else makes the same mistake I did.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
All i remember is Liz dragging me home yelling at me, crying, and barfing
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And if you ever tell anyone that I have emotions ill kill you
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
Just woke up next to a hungry lesbian and a half eaten croissant on my stomach. Can you come get me?
Randomize