Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Every night before bed, when I used to say prayers, now I just think to myself 'freshman sluts. Soon'
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
Just saw a guy from Kansas and a guy from Nebraska arguing over who had less of an accent. God Bless the Midwest.
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
Ended up at the strip club, got told I should be a dancer 4 times, got free tacos and my hot TA slide in the dms. How was your night?
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
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