STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
She's hot and she went to Notre Dame. I want to fuck the Catholic right out of her
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
The baby slept soo good last night. Its like he knows the importance of me being intoxicated all weekend.
So, do you think I should wash the ashes off of my forehead before going to the strip club?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Randomize
