i'm like carrie bradshaw but prettier and with a penis
It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
we were having sex and she freaked out when i said nipple
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
