I finally got her to squirt but it wasnt a stream, it came out in the form of mist. I felt like I was in rainforest cafe.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
Just puked in the monkey exhibit at the zoo. They ate it. I don't want a pet monkey anymore.
i think you're the only person in the world who masturbates to food network.
walmarts paint section shouldnt be open at 3am
she asked to have her picture taken with every guy we walked by.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
