I think my vagina is haunted
I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm drunk filing my taxes in a bar on a Monday afternoon in a Regular Show onesie. I think I'm starting to get the hang of this whole adult thing.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
