dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
you win again, gameday.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
At the end of the white elephant exchange, our professor had a big black dildo around her neck and I won a full body dinosaur suit. I could die tomorrow with no regrets.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
Randomize