Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
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So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
well the night couldnt get much worse after she peed all over herself and the sidewalk.
Awkwardly walking by your fuck buddy and waving a casual hi in his direction like nothing has happened is probably the best thing in my life
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
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Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
I FOUND THE LEGS
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Did you pee in the oven last night??
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