where does the pee come out of this thing
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
Woke up next to a half eaten California burrito. It was tucked in.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Just saw the ex while I was at CVS at 3am buying Depends for my heavy flow
i swear every fucking time i plan a party, one of our "friends" holds their shit in all week just to punch one off into the master bathroom after i pass out. it's almost like that dump you would see in a port a potty.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
Randomize
