My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up backwards on a recliner
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I woke up just like any other Wednesday. Naked on the floor, hungover and covered head to toe in lube
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Randomize