I just spent the last hour reading customer reviews on amazon.com for the book "it hurts when I poop." Send help.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
I found bruises on my neck from barfing out the window.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
Youre not supposed to get arrested if your parents fly you home for christmas!
True but this has the bonus of them maybe not wanting to fly me home next year, im good with that didnt wanna go in the first place.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
All I really remember is shouting "THANKS FOR LETTING ME MAKE OUT WITH YOUR GIRLFRIEND."
What can I say? You have this amazing power over straight girls.
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
But seriously. What possible excuse could I come up with to ditch my parents on Christmas to go fuck him?
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
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