If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
I just hatefucked a Bush administration appointee. Now having celebratory mimosas.
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
So, Southern Comfort will donate 25 cents for every bottle sold towards Gulf Coast Relief... Can we save the wetlands through my alcoholism?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Next time we do shrooms i am finding an open field at sunrise and running through it and nobody is stopping me this time!
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