i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
There is a half eaten corn dog and soy sauce on the counter... WTF did you eat last night??
Chick took off her bra in the middle of class cuz it was "too hot." How's going out of state feel now?
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
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I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I drank enough to tranq a steed. You really missed out
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
The next time we go out, we're bringing a jar so that people can contribute to the rest of what I need to come up with for my breast implants... We'll show them yours for inspiration and persuasion.
I wanted to buy shoes but nothing fit. So i'm getting a vibrator.
It's a little hazey but I think I tried to request Nelly last night. There was no dj. Not sure who I was talking to
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