making cat noises will not fix the situation.
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Another night, another sound of my neighbor almost having an orgasm.
And she used to have such long ones. Sad.
it's sunday funday. and also, who can outslut the other day.
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
so i showed up to the bars in a sombrero and a tie as a headband... so yeah, they didn't let me in
this old people party is bangin. they have apple cider with everclear in it
Randomize
