is hooking up with someone you used to babysit wrong?
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
We walked through the hotel lobby in slow-mo taking huge steps because we were astronauts, and astronauts obviously can't be drunk.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
there's a guy on campus handing out business cards. you pay him to see if your girlfriend will cheat. the company name is "tying up loose ends"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Who knew that one of those cheesy light up equalizer shirts would be the light that all those drunk college girls gathered like moths around?
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
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