I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
Today's lesson: while in the shower, one should choose between either drinking OR shaving. Not both.
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Ahhh sometimes you just need a thermos of whiskey in the library
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
What? My family got wasted on patron and I threw up on my pants and said it was gravy. Hot mess.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Not great. "Leave the toilet seat down, it gives me somewhere to rest my face."
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
Fun fact: nipples work on touch screens. Tell your friends :)
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
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