i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Motor boating, judging by the amount of lipstick I found I would say between 6 to 8 times
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
he's gonorrhea incarnate
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
NoShamevember. You game?
You just kept screaming "COME GET ME OFFICER, MY ALLIGATOR MEANS BUSINESS" while swinging a beanie baby alligator at him.
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
Actually, I may scrap this entire plan. I just realized that I had sex with a guy with his own whiskey commercial.
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
How do you explain to your mom that you let your friend stab you in the leg while drunk and high on coke?
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Randomize
