I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
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You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
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I remember seeing his penis I just dont know exactly what I did with it
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
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