Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
She's yelling about threesomes and realllly wants you to come over. Put the pieces together.
You should know me better than that. I don't whore around. I promise this is a blowjobs only kind of trip.
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
she was concerned about my dick piercings.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
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