I think my fart just growled at me.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
Yeah, half my ass was burnt and I was missing a shoe. I'm blaming you for the shoe.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
i don't know man, last time i saw her she was applying sunblock to her vagina
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
Randomize
